I Am.

I found this text so beautiful, about a woman who is "almost completly awake" ... so kindness... <3

"Hi friends! It's been a while :)

I've gone through some massive inner change the last couple of weeks, unraveling a great deal of old structures that has been in the way for me. I had reached a point where it needed to be removed, leaving me rather empty and confused to be honest. You know the feeling of having a fresh new start, but it doesn't quite feel as ~whoopi doo~ as it's "supposed to"?

Without revealing too much of my voulnerable inner micro-super universe, I'm in the middle of some ruthless cutting of the cords that should be done a looong time a go. Being over empathic surely doesn't make it easier. But at the point where I was before I made the descition, I couldn't carry on compromising my Truth. Let go or die. So I let go, and here I am. A new born who has no clue how to do IT. Hehe, I need a foolproof crash course in how to go on after being purified of some "demons" without knowing my new self even a tiny bit. At the same time it's all I know, it's the very rhythm of my heart. 

 

But what r.e.a.l.l.y scares me, is what is coming as a result of doing this. Something inside that wants to brake loose and run wild, explode, fly free, drop the steering wheel with closed eyes in full trust. There's no room for compromising even a tiny bit. The presence of the Animal is everywhere in and around me. Animals don't compromise.

If you know you have some really beautiful gifts up your sleeve, and know that they are not available for you until you do the great leap out in the unknown (without crutches), and for you to make the leap, you have to say good by to what ever holds you back. Every old, fear-based structure in relationships foremost, convictions, believes, behavior, habits, places... everything. Then you know what I'm going through.

No one sings this process better than Frida Öhrn: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYfsJ6rXgoc

I've been here before. Trying, trying, but lacked in courage and faith. Now I've done the work, connected with key people with the knowledge and guidance to push me forth, I've grown thicker skin and made some heavy decisions. 

Passively waited for years to get access to these gifts I've always known that I had, not knowing how to unlock them. I still don't know the secret recipe to the success. Most of all, I know exactly what I don't want. Life taught me through extreme experiences of contrast, which will come in handy in the long run. I don't have a map, but my heart as a compass, God as my best friend, my truth as a land mark and my love Jakob by my side.

As you know, every journey starts with one step, and the journey into the unknown is something we all have to face sooner or later, once or twice in our life. The birthing process is indeed painful, people fear change, fear their radiant inner light and have a hard time breaking old habits. But the only way out is through."


- Karolina Eleonora -

Her blog: http://loveraw.blogspot.se/